So, people keep asking me where I have been lately and more importantly, “Why are you back bugging us again?”
I have learned that work is good for the soul. I have also learned that too much work is bad for the soul. So I have cut back and streamlined my work.
Because I have cut back I am free to send thousands of emails to brighten your day.
People have also asked “What is the deal with the old songs lately?” Answer: my curse of tangential thinking- it just happens, like suddenly you find a potato chip in your mouth and you wonder how it got there-you can blame it on the curse of tangential eating. It’s good to be able to share the blame…
Staying with this theme (Hmmm- I suddenly have the urge for a potato chip) Anyway back to the theme of “oldies” I am here to Help! (Help me Rhonda, Help Help me Rhonda- name the year and group.)
I am beginning a new Concierge service. I am still ironing out the wrinkles but I think you are going to like it, wrinkles and all. (No comment about wrinkles!)
You can purchase a variety of services from us for a variety of prices. The services include a daily health tip text, a quick afternoon phone call to get past the munchies, or even a phone coaching session. You choose what level of Help you need. (Help, you know I need somebody, Help, not just any body, Help you know I need someone like a Dietitian….)
I am here to provide The Help!…hmm…book titles- there are some great book titles out there…..
Just send me an email if you need The Help that I can provide. I will be happy to share the details with you
Luv, Tangential WD
The Kansas City Dietitian Nutritionist with the Wacky Sense of Humor
You make my heart sing
You make everything Grooovy
(I told you little songs would mess with your mind.)
This song just popped into my brain today and I immediately thought of this hot little number. (Do you know what tangential thinking is? Our family is cursed with it.)
Wild Thing Chili Pepper
I am sure this song (sung by the famous group “The Troggs.” Wasn’t there a Trogg on Sesame Street?) reminds you of vegetables, too.
“Wild” is a terrific word to add to your diet. You can’t “beet” Wild Alaskan Salmon. Wild berries should be added to your greek yogurt every morning. Have you tried wild field greens in your salad lately? All of these foods are guaranteed to “make your heart sing”.
If you really “want to know for sure” include something “wild” every day in your meals.
I think I luv you, Wild Thing!
WD (aka Wild Dietitian)
Veggies in the morning
Veggies in the evening
Veggies at supper time
Be my little Veggie
Eat me all the time….
I bet you are humming by now. As a dietitian I am required by law to change the lyrics of any song that uses the word “Sugar”.
Are you still humming? Or have you now started humming the “Beverly Hillbilly’s Theme Song?” These little songs…they will mess with your mind. (Or maybe you are still trying to remember what a Venn diagram is. These little dietitians, they will mess with your mind, too.)
Anyhow, let’s talk about Veggies in the morning. That seems to be a foreign concept to many Americans. If you woke up in Israel this morning you might have enjoyed yogurt and cucumbers. And I do mean enjoyed! But, if you woke up in the good ole U. S.of A. you probably wolfed down a microwaveable meal that a guy dressed in a giant Sun costume advertises. (Really? You trust a guy in a Sun costume with your nutritional health more than a brilliant Dietitian dressed in a Wonder Dietitian cape?)
OK back to the topic of Sexy Veggies for breakfast. Here is my new favorite breakfast veggie idea. Scramble some egg whites, or even a whole egg. Toss in some fresh baby spinach or kale leaves. Place in a warmed corn tortilla. Top with a sprinkling of feta cheese and your favorite Salsa. Using the microwave this will take approximately 2 minutes (faster than you can draw a Venn diagram). And it is delicious!
Sing with me now—
Veggies in the morning
Veggies in the evening
Veggies at supper time
Hey, I have a question- does this mean you eat veggies twice in the evening? Far Out, Man!
P.S. Are you still humming?
Join this Dietitian as she is slowly going crazy..
Is it just me or is the world getting crazier by the minute? (I hope the world is getting crazier and not just me…)
You probably think I am talking about the NSA (who has probably flagged this email- boy are they going to be disappointed) or the IRS (who has probably determined “veggies are sexy” is a secret ultra-conservative radical group trying to get people to actually EAT veggies and we certainly don’t want anyone in the IRS trying a new Kale recipe)…
But, you are wrong! I am talking about the somewhat newish ”Wheat Belly Diet” not to be confused with the somewhat oldish “Beer Belly Diet.”
Which by the way, if you were to make a Venn diagram there would be an intersection between the two, if you are drinking wheat beer.
You might be scratching your head at this point trying to remember what is a Venn diagram? If you Do remember then you should NOT apply for a job at the NSA or IRS because you actually HAVE a brain.
Anyway, back to the Wheat Belly diet. Recently the author of the Wheat Belly Diet came to Kansas City. And I want to officially go on the record stating that I firmly believe the Wheat Belly Diet can actually help some people. I also want to go on the record stating that I firmly believe the Beer Belly Diet can actually help some people.
Now, the next part of this email is off the record, so don’t quote me on this. But, I firmly believe the Veggies are Sexy diet can actually help people on the Wheat Belly diet, people on the Beer Belly Diet, people working at the NSA and people working at the IRS. But, let’s keep this off the record. I don’t want to get the IRS riled up.
And, if you haven’t eaten something blue today then go get a blueberry and enjoy. (I’ve heard blueberries are ultra-conservative so they may not be around for long.)
I feel I owe an apology to Hostess. I have been maligning their products for years. Wonder bread-Twinkies-Hostess Cupcakes…. I have been telling everyone to avoid them like the plague. I have been telling you that eating a diet filled with these can lead to heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancer. So today I am coming clean and admitting “I was absolutely right!” But, before you attack, let’s look at the true facts. (Logic question- are their false facts?)
(If politicians/news reporters can make up “true” facts then so can I.)
Fact: On occasion in elementary school I would find a Twinkie in my lunch box. When that happened I was thrilled. Usually my only treat was some graham crackers spread with homemade frosting. When I was lucky enough to get a store bought delicacy I felt pretty darn special.
Fact: The sale of Twinkies, white bread and Hostess cupcakes has been falling for the last decade.
Fact: Heart Disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancers have been escalating exponentially for the last decade.
Math Story Problem: (Do you remember math story problems—if a train leaves from A and travels….)
If the sale of Hostess products has been going down over the last decade and the incidence of disease has been going up over the last decade, does the eating of Hostess products cause disease?
Answer: Train A will reach Train B in 1 hour and 42 minutes unless there is a cow on the track and then….
Oh wait, sorry-
True Answer: No, eating Hostess products does not cause all of these diseases. Listen carefully here.
These chronic diseases are caused by-
Are you listening?
They are caused by a lifestyle of bad behavior.
A Twinkie here or there or white bread for your lunch sandwich is not going to give you chronic disease. These diseases are caused by a diet filled with bagels and cream cheese and donuts for breakfast. Happy meals and Big Macs with a gallon of coke for lunch. A family size Snickers for an afternoon snack. Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner. Smoking…. Drinking…. Sitting…… These are the things diseases are made of.
So, it is with great sadness I say good-bye to Twinkies. I loved them dearly in third grade.
And to those who know me well- Long Live Twinkie Cake!!
Help! The Kitchen Table has been Stolen! A blog by Kansas City Dietitian
I have been rushing around like a chicken with its head cut offtrying to save the world by pushing sexy veggies. And I have been getting absolutely NO WHERE!
(♫ No where Dietitian, sitting in her No where Land,
Making all her nowhere plans
for nobody♫- surely you remember the song that the Beatles wrote for me.)
Anyway, did you notice that the kitchen tables in the American home have been stolen? Yes, folks the main reason for a crummy diet is the disappearance of the kitchen table.
Why kitchen tables are the solution to halt obesity and poor nutrition habits in America:
The kitchen table is where:
- Children are introduced to new foods like SEXY VEGGIES!
- Children watch what their parents eat and learn that beets taste good.
- The Parents eat their veggies in front of their kids to be good role models for their kids.
- People socialize and communicate.
- People learn and practice good manners.
- Families share food, love, respect and family values.
Things that are NOT a kitchen table:
- The inside of a car
- A couch in front of a television/video game
- A bed
- A bleacher at some kid’s game or practice
- A desk in front of a computer
For heaven’s sake America! Wake up! Make a decent meal and sit down at the kitchen table and eat. And PUT DOWN THAT CELL PHONE!
…♫ please listen,
you don’t know what you’re missing,
Nowhere Man, the world is at your command.
Take your time, don’t hurry, ♫
Luv, Nowhere WD