The So-Called Life of a Simple Dietitian

So I was at work in a major health center when an unnamed co-worker’s husband dropped by.  She introduced him to everyone.  He was very polite and shook hands with everyone and said, “Nice to meet you,’ until he got to me.  Everything was going well until my unnamed coworker started with “And this is Glenna, our dietitian, she’s the one with the Veggies are Sexy t-shirt…”  His eyes got big; he started stammering and mumbling unintelligible things. She quickly hustled him out the door.   

And that is pretty much how my life goes.  Every time I walk up to a patient and introduce myself I see this look of fear? Defiance? Disdain?  Perhaps that is why I have developed my paranoia. I try not to reveal my true identity around those I do not know.  It is better that way.  

The good news is, this unnamed co-worker has been wearing her Veggies are Sexy T-shirt.  And because of it, she has started eating veggies.  I forgot to tell her that it has magical powers.  If you wear it, it will make you eat more veggies.  Just like that baseball field in Field of Dreams.  Veggies start coming out of nowhere and jump on your plate, pushing away the french fries and cheeseburger.  It’s a beautiful sight to behold.

Once this news gets out, the t-shirts will be flying off the shelves so you might want to get yours today.  I can hardly keep them in stock as it is. 

OK so the truth is, I give them away and beg people to wear them and sometimes they do.  Since I am not going to make my millions selling the shirts, I guess I better get back to my million dollar New York Times bestselling book.  Watch for Step 2 of the Simple Diet coming to your email any day now. 

Feel free to send this email to everyone you know, but do not tell them I am a DIETITIAN!  Let’s keep that information just between the two of us.

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